Emptied of expectation. Relax. (tinyjo) wrote,
Emptied of expectation. Relax.

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So, it's finally about to happen. I've hired the car. I've done a spreadsheet to proportion out the bills. Alex is going to move into my house. It's weird - I've wanted this to happen for a long time, probably ever since I moved to Oxford and now I can't quite believe that it's going to happen. In 2 weeks time Alex is going to move out of his bachelor pad and move in with me.

This will mean a few changes. Firstly and most importantly, it means lots more hugs. No longer will he have to worry about bringing work clothes with him (which will mean his shirts become correspondingly less crumpled as he doesn't have to stuff them in his rucksack to bring them over) or any of the other ramifications of planning overnight stays. If I'm feeling low I can just go home and get cheered up instead of having to arrange to meet in a pub. Also, I will no longer have to worry about cooking dinners which need him to arrive when he said he would because instead of recovering from work in a bedroom across town before coming over for dinner he'll be doing it in his room upstairs (or possibly in front of MTV I suppose). It will mean more washing but less washing up as that's going to be Alex' chore.

All that is great and is the sort of thing which we'll notice as we get used to the new arrangement but it's not the most important thing I'm getting from this in a way. What I want is for Alex's home to be with me. When he say's "I'm going home" that'll be where I am, I'll be part of what that means. I think that this means much more to me than it does to him because I was (and still am) very attached to my home when I lived with my parents. It was my sanctuary, somewhere safe and comfortable where I had all the things I liked and I could relax and feel happy. Alex moving in with me will help my house to become more of a home, hopefully for both of us.

I never wanted to be a house-wife, but I like the idea that we could be home-makers.
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