Emptied of expectation. Relax. (tinyjo) wrote,
Emptied of expectation. Relax.

Well, the new walking is still a thing and, characteristically, I've bought equipment to go with it - a nice pair of walking shoes and an attempt at a pair of trousers. Years ago, I had an amazing pair of trousers with two zip off sections so you could wear them as trousers, cut-offs or shorts. They wore out many years ago, but now I'm looking to replace them, I'm faced with the fact that I've put on weight since then and fat girls are not expected to buy clothing for being outside in. I haven't found *anything* for girls above a size 18 and even stuff for guys is not available in my waist size. It's irritating; while I'd like to be fitter, I don't want to lose weight per se, and the suggestion that I have to in order to enjoy the activities of the outdoor fraternity basically puts me off. It doesn't help that the nurse who represcribed my birth control pills (on an emergency appt when I had mis-remembered how many packs I had left, don't get me wrong, she was doing me a favour) spent 15 mins telling me about how they can prescribe me weightwatchers classes if I like. I just said "Hmmm" a lot.

In other news, the combination of the elections and the sad puppies thing has got me thinking about community. What communities am I a part of and what does that even mean? I feel totally unrepresented by the parties on offer for voting for at the election, to the extent that I find it hard to justify to myself the idea of endorsing any of them. The things that matter to me, like privacy and democratic legitimacy don't seem to resonate anywhere with party platforms. This political cycle, I've ended up resigning my party membership and donating to FullFact and Org instead because they represent more of what I actually want to se in politics - information. I can't see myself in good concience voting for any of these fuckers.

Sad-puppies wise, I have been thinking about adjacent spaces. The sad puppies thing seems to represent an assault by people who I do not like on a space in which people with whom I am friends have previously felt safe and comfortable. But it's not my space and never has been - con fandom is just not how I've ever related to my reading or experience as an SF fan and I'm certainly not up to date enough as a reader to vote for any literary award in the field. The question for me is does the fact that this is not my space mean that it's not my fight? On the one hand, if I've nothing to defend, why get involved? On the other, there's a certain "and then the came for the X" about it - the fact that I don't need the space doesn't mean I should stand by and let assholes run over it, does it? In the end, I don't think I'm prepared to enter the space in order to protect it for others but is there any other viable support I can offer? Perhaps I should by Worldcon memberships for people who do care but can't afford to.

So what does it mean to belong to a community? If asked, I would say I was British but actually, I don't identify in practice with any elements of Britishness any more than I do con-going-fandom. For me, I guess living in a place and being a member of a community perhaps mean different things. I'm not even sure if that's a problem or not, but it is an interesting thought, at least.
Tags: election, fandom, fat police, politics, weight
  • Post a new comment


    Comments allowed for friends only

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened